Random Acts of Kindness

"Be the change you want to see in the world."~ Mahatma Gandhi

I wasn't going to share this story.... It's just not something that I would do. It's private. Joe and I haven't told anyone except the very nice Kinko's lady that made a call to our home and one of his brothers when he asked what we were discussing. I'm still not sure that I should be sharing it. Doing so, in my eyes, takes away from the meaning of it. It is meant to be random, unrecognized, without praise and only for the giver and the receiver. But, it's New Year's day and when I woke up this morning, I just felt compelled to share it. I felt that sharing this story might inspire you to reach out and do a good deed. To feel compassion, love and understanding for those that happen to cross your path in life.

A few weeks before Christmas, my phone rang. It was my younger sister, Kim.
"I know how busy you guys are with moving and Christmas but, I have a huge favor to ask." 
I could hear the pain in her voice. "Sure," I said. "What do you need?"
"This is horrible," She sighed. "I have a friend..... She just found out that her sister was murdered. They just found her body. She's been missing since August."

She went on to explain that the girl, a Mom, had been brutally murdered by her boyfriend. An autopsy would have to be conducted before they could send her home for funeral services. She explained that the cost of the funeral would be covered by an agency in the state where she was murdered but, that the family only had enough money to cover the cost of the obituary and would not be able to afford to have prayer cards for the funeral.  

"Do you think Joe could design a prayer card if I send you a picture and all of the information?"
"Absolutely," I answered.
"Will you find out the cost of printing and let me know? I don't have alot but, I have to do something."
"Yes, definitley."

My heart was breaking after hearing the details. This woman was a Mother. She was somebody's sister, daughter, Aunt, friend. To think of what those that loved her most must be going through........

We received the information needed to create the prayer card and Joe got to work placing everything that the family had requested. I called Kinko's because I knew they would be able to do the job quickly and made all of the arrangements for printing. We were in the process of moving at the time and were down to the wire when the card was completed and sent to print.

I called my sister the day before the funeral service, which was also the day before we were moving.
"Hi Sis.... The cards will be ready tomorrow morning. Can you pick them up?"
"Yes, yes," She said. "Thank you so much. You don't know how much this means to the family. They are so appreciative. How much did they come to?"
"Don't worry about it. They are already paid for. They just need to be picked up. Can you save me one card though? I'd like to hang it on our Christmas tree and share the story with the kids."

My sister called me the next morning. She had picked up the package of cards and brought them over to the family.
"My friend just called me, crying," She said. "She just opened the box of cards and she said they are just beautiful. Thank you again. This really means alot. I love you."
"I love you too, Sis...."

The next day, I received a call from a customer service rep at Kinko's. "I'm just calling to see how everything went with your order and if you were satisfied with the finished product." She said.
"Well, I never got to see the finished product," I said. I explained the story to her.....
"If only there were more people in the world who reached out to help one another and lift each other up," I said. "Wouldn't that be wonderful?"
I later received the following email from her:

Teresa,
Attached is the prayer card .Your story warmed my heart .I will send the story you shared with me out to our entire district. You are right if only more people took the time ,a  gentle touch,  and a  –pay it forward approach as you and your husband did for this family –the world would be a better place.
God bless to you and your family. Please feel free to reach out to me if you need anything in the future.

Happy Holidays 
Thank You for your business and for sharing your story.

I can not even begin to explain how this experience made me feel. As much as my heart broke for this family it was filled with love and compassion and the gift of giving. I'll never forget it and neither will my children. It's a New Year. Make a point to reach out whenever you can. Even if it's just a smile or a prayer.

Rest in Peace Lynn.... Your life was not wasted. This is your story, not ours. You are touching hearts and making a difference.....

Sausage & Lentil Soup

I had never made lentil soup before trying this recipe. A family member used to make it and I loved it. I haven't had it in years though and had a craving. So glad I made it! AND, I like this recipe better than the soup I had all those years ago. My Sophie just ate all of the carrots out of it. LOL This is a recipe that I found and tweeked to my liking. Afterward, I looked up the health benefits of lentils and was amazed. Here is a link so you can be amazed too! http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=52
I'm going to try a Lentil Bread recipe next. Watch for the post!

6 Cups vegetable stock
1 1/4 Cups dried lentils, rinsed
1 Can (28 ounces) diced tomatoes, undrained
2 to 3 carrots, sliced
2 celery ribs, sliced
1/4 Cup chopped green onion
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. dried oregano
1/8 tsp. pepper
12 ounces bulk turkey sausage, cooked and drained
2 Tbs. chopped fresh parsley (or dried)

In a large pot, bring vegetable stock to a boil. Add remaining ingredients and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer until lentils and vegetables are tender. Enjoy!! (I thought the soup tasted even better the next day!)

The Mush Man

"There's a sadness in your eyes," he said as he wrapped me in his arms. "And I need to fix it. I'm going to make you an apple pie this weekend. Would you like that?"

I buried my face in his chest and nodded, remembering the weekend that he moved in. I had been away on a business trip. It had been a long flight, complete with an engine that wouldn't start, followed by free cocktails, (to convince us all that the plane was perfectly safe for take off) a two hour wait and finally a new plane. I got in around 3 a.m. to find the biggest, most colorful fall leaves and a love note taped to my front door. Smiling, I turned the key and went inside. I headed up the stairs and there he was, lying in my bed, sound asleep. I cuddled in and fell asleep in his arms. It was the beginning....

I woke up late the next morning to the most wonderful smells coming from the kitchen. And then, there he was again, standing in the doorway of what was now our bedroom. He was holding a plate with the biggest slice of freshly baked apple pie and his big blue eyes were saying, "I'm going to take care of you forever."

And he has. He loves me, that man, who has become my safe place. That man, who loves my children as if they are his own. My Joe.... He is my best friend, the father of my children and my partner in everything. He helps with the cooking, the laundry, the shopping, the homework and everything in between. He is the man that I hope my boys become and my girls will find. Gentle and humble, yet strong and confident in who he is. Always loving us, always taking care of us.

Every fall, when I'm least expecting it, he comes to me. In his hands are the biggest, most colorful, newly fallen leaves. "I'm going to make you an apple pie," he says. And in his big blue eyes, there is a love that will never end.

Colonial Style

There is no topic of conversation that is off limits in our house. I have always wanted my kids to feel comfortable coming to me with anything. So, whenever they have come to me with a question, I have always answered, age appropriately. The following is an example of the kind of kids you end up with when you parent this way!

It is early evening. The baby and boys have gone to bed. Joe, the girls and I are settling into the living room for our favorite shows. We are switching from National Geographic's, "Doing the Deed Colonial Style," when Sarah's head whips around to face her sister.

"Wait!", she exclaims. "Did they have condoms in colonial times?"

"I don't think so. I seriously doubt it," Tori answers.

Slightly annoyed, Sarah asks, "Well, why not?"

"Because!" Tori retorts, "They aren't going to be all like, walk down to Ye Druggeth Store and buy me thine condoms and Ye Old NuvaRing!"

Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child

Spanking, paddling, whipping, smacking, slapping, yanking, beating... I received all of this growing up. And do you know what I learned from it? To fear. To hide. To be quiet and not show my feelings. To avoid being at home. To be angry. And though I was not a disrespectful child, I did not respect the parent that was inflicting all of this upon my siblings and I.

I don't hate him. And, I do forgive him. It took me a long time to get to that place... Forgiveness... It's a good place to be. The anger, resentment and hurt are gone and I am truly living my life. I arrived there by coming to realize that, this man was once a child himself and someone, probably his own parents did these things to him and he came to learn that this was an acceptable way to discipline a child. After all, his parents and grandparents raised their children this way. It must be right! Add in the fact that he was an alcoholic and you just have a mess...

"How is it then," my sweet man asks, "that you turned out to be the way you are? So gentle, patient, and calm." "How did you come from all of that and not turn out the same way?"

The answer is, I remember.... I remember the physical pain, I remember the bruises and explaining them away. I remember the fear and the shame. I remember hiding it all and keeping it a secret from the world. Most of all, I remember the emotional anguish. That deep, deep sadness and not being able to escape it. And now... I'm a Mom. The greatest gift that can ever be bestowed upon a human being. I'm a Mom!! A parent!! And I NEVER, EVER, want any one of my children to have to feel the pain that I felt growing up. NEVER!!!

And so, I teach them. I lead by example. I treat them with respect and most of the time, they return that respect. I don't hit them, I talk with them. I explain things to them. I take away their privileges. I hold them accountable. And, I love them.... And, do you know what they are learning? To love. To respect. To show compassion and kindness. To be patient and fair. They are learning to be confident and to have self worth. And, they are learning that this is how they deserve to be treated.

Mommy, I have puberty....

Oh, my funny little man. He is 12 and is learning about puberty at home and in school. He came through the door yesterday after school with his chin and bottom lip sticking out, Billy Madison style and announced in a very serious, much deeper voice that I did not recognize, "Mommy, I think I have puberty."

Trying very, very hard not to laugh, I asked, "You do? How do you know that?"

"Because," he said, "I got taller and my voice got deeper."

Nor'easter Hot Cocoa

We're in the middle of a snow storm here. I LOVE snow storms! The kids were out playing but came in because the wind is starting to pick up. I was out of the pre packaged stuff so I fudged a recipe. It came out pretty good!!

5 Cups of Milk

3 TBS. Sugar

2 TBS. Nestle Cocoa

In a sauce pan, whisk ingredients together and bring almost to boil. Let cool slightly. Pour into mugs and top with real whipped cream. Yum!!